This Woman’s Work: Interview with Lynn Kreaden
By LouLou Piscatore
Lynn Kreaden is a holistic body-integrative practitioner with over 25 years' experience guiding clients to their sensual pleasure, open-hearted connection, and authentic expression. She has a private practice in NYC, and teaches workshops and training seminars internationally with her unique combination of subtle energy healing, deep relating, and embodied authentic pleasure. Lynn’s platform is about returning to our innate body wisdom, that we can create the connections we desire with others while ever deepening our connections to our own truest sense of self. Her passion is helping people remember and live the deliciousness of their being at every level, in all aspects of their lives.
Her professional focus has evolved over the years -- from Individual work, to women’s groups and workshops, to co-ed practice, to intimacy workshops. Now she is studying with a teacher who is focussed on healing trauma on a large scale, global level. I have personally worked with Lynn for more than 13 years. Her Erotic Goddess workshops and Women’s groups have been instrumental in my process of being able to stand in my power and in my pleasure, and she has been one of the first women in my life who provided me with both unconditional support and a positive role model of feminine power. This woman’s work is powerful.
Tell me about your “women’s work”
The work that I do with women is really about their deliciousness -- bringing their knowing that they are delicious back.
Whenever I ask this questions about deliciousness -- and I ask alot of men this question, and you know when the men are really good, when they say without hesitation, “yes”. But women really struggle to know that they are delicious, and I think from my perspective that’s why we often get labeled bitches etc, because we are not really open, because we don’t really understand how to rest in our deliciousness, our amazingness, our fullness as women, so we do a lot of stuff to try and fit in, to make due, to get by, to go through...but we don’t really rest in our essence, our fullness.
What inspired you to start the Erotic Goddess Workshops, and Women’s Groups?
I started erotic goddess around 2007, Until that time I really i had no interest in women. My whole life kind of revolved around men, and I never realized it. Eventually I noticed that I didn’t really trust women -- and I think that a lot of women don’t trust other women. And I was one of those women. So when I was in my 40’s, I studied with a teacher for several years and in one of the first workshops, he separated the men and the women. I walked into a room with 100 women and Ariel Daunay who has been doing women’s work since she was 19 years old. I walked into this room, and in that first three hour event, I discovered the world of women -- how incredible the feminine was, and how unbelievably divorced I was from “her” and how great it felt to connect. So when I discovered that, I forced Ariel to move to NY, and I went into a women’s group with her, and we did great great work, and then I brought that work to my own groups”
What does it feel like to be connected to your feminine in that way”
It was fluid. And full. And soft. And I think that the way I was brought up, women were not really valued in that way. Or seen in that way. So when I started doing this work it seemed like a miracle to me. And I started going to pole dancing at this same time, and what I noticed was that all of this insane stuff happened behind closed doors, in the dark. These women would drop into this openness -- just delicious movement and connection with their erotic creatures -- and the second the door opened it stopped, they put it away. They were in this deep amazing feminine place, and then the second they walked out the door it was gone. They went back into what I would consider a shallow place -- not in their authenticity. So that’s when I said to myself ‘ok, we need to do something about bringing THIS and the women’s work together so that women can live that outside, in the light. So they can walk down the street and feel like they are still in that room. For themselves, not for anybody else.
How much are women actually allowed to be in that kind of power, outside that room?
I don’t know that it’s about allowing as much as it’s about taking our power back. Because there is no “allow” really.
Why is this work important right now?
For centuries women have stayed silent, for a number of reasons. In 1972 my mother could not get a credit card without her father or husband signing for it! This is in my lifetime! As history shows us, women have been underrepresented, unseen, in service. So finally in the past few years women are stepping up to say “no more’. But even now, even though there is so much coming out, there is still so much that is unseen, unreported, etc. Our general culture can be traumatizing to women -- especially around their sexuality. So right now the work is so important! To help women find their voice, reclaim their sexuality, and find their strength within to tell their stories -- in a supportive environment -- so that eventually this will no longer be happening.
What is the quality of feminine energy?
In a pure form, the feminine is like ocean -- it doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere but you eventually get somewhere
And what is more powerful than the ocean?
Right. And you can have anything happen in the ocean at any time -- from calm and lovely to a wicked storm, but as far as direction -- there is a direction, but you can’t perceive it, so you get somewhere eventually somehow.
“In the erotic goddess workshops and in your women’s groups, What was your main focus? What was the goal, or what was born from that work, for the women involved?
That being vulnerable is safe, that claiming your power and your pussy for yourself is sacred. And that you are ok -- you don’t have to do anything, be anything, look a certain way. That you can support each other instead of seeing each other as the enemy. That you can find your way back to your ‘essence” -- you can work through your old issues, what you have been taught, where you came from, what your mother taught you about what the feminine is -- and find your own way.
And you do that by bringing them into their physical bodies?
Yes, into their physical bodies, in a real tangible way. Which does not always look pretty.
I know we are talking about this in context of the women’s work but in general this is the kind of work you do -- so much emotion and history is actually in your physical body, can you talk a little bit about that?
Well, the issue’s in the tissue! Every time a trauma happens, or an insult happens, or you don’t feel safe, it gets laid out in your tissue, and then because you don’t want to feel that fear, you literally disassociate out of that part of your body. So you take the breath out of there, you stop your energy from moving through there, you would do anything you can to avoid it. It’s a good strategy, but as you get older, those blank spaces are still there, still in your body. You don’t know its happening but you are living your life out of those conclusions you made when you are little. So a lot of the work I do is to try and find those places in your body where you vacated because you didn’t want to feel that pain, and bringing energy, blood flow and consciousness back into those areas. And I do that a lot of different ways. I can do that by having people hit and yell, or move, or breathe, it really depends. All of this stuff happened in relationship, and it needs to heal in relationship.
So is this your inspiration for moving into the intimacy work you are doing now?
Yes while I was doing all of the women’s work I realized that people didn’t really understand intimacy. In group work I realized how young everybody got. I realized that the ‘inner child’ is the first responder when it comes to any kind of attraction, romantic or not. We basically attract what we know -- which is what we didn’t get. You keep repeating patterns from childhood and it’s unconscious, and your body keeps score -- you body remembers all of it.
So I would be working with these women who were powerful in their own right but when they would step into relationship they would sort of lose themselves. I see the same thing with men. Everyone is compensating and they are not really connecting. They are in their old patterns. People always ask ‘why do I keep finding the same kind of person?’ It’s because you are looking for that.
Because your wounded 5 year old is only attracted to what it’s familiar with...
Yes, and the reality is a five year old is incapable of having a relationship, the kind that you would want. So that’s how I got into the intimacy work that I am doing now. And it’s amazing, because for most people, their inner child and their adult are not even speaking. And when you viscerally bring those two places together, and the adult can be with the child, and maybe take over the decision making, then you have discernment.
To learn more visit: www.lynnkreaden.com