Letter to my Younger Self


By Elena Brower


Dear Little Elena of the Glasses, Skinny Legs and Big Brain,  

Hi. You are loved.

You matter. Your presence counts. Your art has meaning and your heart is seen. I know you only want to help, to locate and create more beauty, to ensure everyone around you feels their worth.

As you grow up, pay attention to how you respond to things; your calmness is both your wellness and your currency. Others' responses matter, but not nearly as much as the innermost experience you're cultivating within yourself. You'll always have two choices: victim of your circumstances, or author of your existence. Which would you rather choose?

Be sure you're kind to your parents and know that they're really young and doing their best, given what they know. Your mom will die when you're in your early forties, so make sure you have the hard conversations and clear your space by then. She loves you more than you'll ever know. And remember to let your sister do what she needs to do and be who she wishes to be; it will help you both to hold steady there. She loves you too, even though it's hard for her to show it now.

Also, popularity is not as prized as it seems. What matters most is the quality of your caring, the level of your willingness to share space with those who nourish you, and move on from those who don't. In your thirties and into your forties, once you've been too hard on yourself for just long enough, you'll find your people, your soul family, the ones who'll care for you for the rest of your days.

Addiction will play a role. Remember to love yourself as deeply as you can through that. On the other side of that addiction is your becoming: you're actually a wise, older woman who seems young and simultaneously ancient. Around the third year of your recovery journey, you'll hit your stride, you'll help thousands stop hiding, and you'll love living in your skin, ready for anything.

You're going to be a mother to a stunning wonder of a boy - a heart who's waiting for you. He's a beauty, a gift and a musical talent . Be easy with him; he'll also always be doing his best. While you'll not last in relationship with his dad, you will end up to be the best of friends. Through your writing, you'll help millions of families handle separation with elegance, and you'll find your soulmate around then. He's the nicest, kindest, silliest, and completely on mission with you, and you'll deserve it.

Photo: Chloe Crespi

Photo: Chloe Crespi

And lastly. You're going to become an incredible teacher and leader, with abundance on all fronts. Don't worry about living up to anyone else's standards - yours are stringent enough  just keep meditating and listening for Spirit to guide you to the teachers and the songs and the friends to light you up and walk you home.




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